Dani Umpi

Biography

This profile was originally written for Canecalón magazine:
Hello, this is Dani Umpi. I was born and lived until I was 10 in Tacuarembó, a very hot place in Uruguay. I very much love my parents and my family in general. I went to a Jesuit school and later on moved to Montevideo to study Advertising and Art. I chose my career following a rather unadvisable method, consisting on writing on a piece of paper all the disciplines you’d like to study and later on choosing the degree that includes the most of them within its study plans.
I have many friends but I often feel lonely. That’s the way I am, extremist, which doesn’t mean I’m bipolar. I often wear shoes three sizes bigger than what I should, though I’m aware it might cause me backbone problems over the years. How many years? How to know? I’m thirty already. I’m a tiger in the Chinese Horoscope, one of the few things I believe in that doesn’t turn me down.
I get along very well with people who fix computers or study Engineerings, though I was never able to learn the 7 times table. That’s weird. I also get along well with ladies over 40, specially if they are divorced. I don’t know why, but I feel we understand each other perfectly. I don’t get along at all with very modern people, or high on something. Everyone thinks I’m freaker than I look, but deep down I’m very ordinary.
I live with a friend named Pepe who, besides being very kind, has an excellent musical taste. That’s why I listen to my own records less and less. I don’t have any pets. We used to have a small lizard named Cynthia Deportiva, but one day she got tired and left. I don’t get along with animals or small children, except my nephew Bruno.
When I was a kid we had on the backyard a dog named Fiel. He was small and harmless, but still they kept him tied up. Luckily he was tied up. When I was asked to feed him I used to throw him bones from a distance and then run inside the house. We used to live in a rather poor neighbourhood, and later on we moved to a cooperative housing construction for teachers that was lovely. I’m very fond of the two neighbourhoods I lived in and visit them every time I’m in Tacuarembó, though I’m not familiar with the new neighbours.
I’m not nostalgic, vindictive or remorseful, but I do remember everything. I like to drink fermented kombucha tea. I don’t use a watch. I love Brazil. I like to sing and listen how people know the lyrics and sings the songs. I enjoy doing well artistically, because that way my parents have nice things to tell their friends. I’ve met many of my friends over the internet, back when chatting was not meant for picking up people.
My best friend is called Leandro, but we don’t see each other often. When we first met, we were catholics. I don’t like arrogant people, or people with many servants. It must be because I’m a little bit classist. I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs or drink alcohol. I’m pretty boring but I’m always laughing. I never know how to comb my hair. I read about four books at the same time and confuse the stories. I love Neil Gaiman’s comic books. Though some might think it different, I’m a very good person.
My main objective in life is be able to stay at ease. I speak a lot over the phone with my grandparents. I don’t like the carnival. I love the movie “Fatal Attraction”. I don’t like elevators that don’t have mirrors. I don’t like seeing works of art that make me think. I’m very excited because I’ll start paragliding. My bedside book is Women who love to much, by Norman Norwood. I’m working on a new album that will be called “Perfecto”, and I’d like everyone to buy it.
My most recent novel is “Miss Tacuarembó”. It’s about a very pretty girl that doesn’t appreciate her talent, what she has, and lowers herself down. I don’t like when people tells me they identify with the character. It leaves me sad. I loved Canecalón magazine and Gabriela Bejerman’s profile, she’s one of my favourite writers. Almost every day, I post something on http://www.fotolog.net/umpilandia

Vision of art

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